What is a Parents' Association?

Share your worries and concerns

table of contents

It's not just children who are struggling

School refusal is often thought of as a "child problem."

However, in reality, the fact that a child is not attending school often places more mental stress on the parents than on the child themselves.

Although they may see information through the media such as "school refusal is not a problem behavior" and "it can happen to any child," in reality they may become exhausted by being conscious of how people perceive them, or may end up dwelling on their anxiety alone.

One of the organizations that can help such parents is the "Parents' Association (Guardian's Association)."

What is a Parents' Association?

A parent's group is a gathering where parents of children who are not attending school can gather to exchange information and share their anxieties and worries.

Some meetings are held by local governments, while others are held by those directly affected (parents whose children have not attended school), but this time we will introduce private meetings run by parents who have also experienced their children not attending school.

Compared to meetings organized by local governments, private meetings are held in a variety of formats and vary in size from small to large groups.

Also, since each group holds its own events, they do not necessarily call themselves "parents' groups," and there are differences in whether or not there is a membership fee.

However, what they all have in common is that they are run by people who have experienced their children's school refusal, supporting each other with the desire to help others make use of their own experiences.

If you're feeling lonely and would like to talk to someone who has had a similar experience, this may be an option for you.

Two benefits of participating

There are several benefits to attending a parent-teacher meeting, but here are two of them:

First, it can help ease feelings of loneliness and anxiety.

When children feel inferior to their families and society at school, and are feeling lonely and anxious, it is difficult to have a positive attitude to improve their situation.

In such cases, interacting with people in similar situations can help alleviate feelings of isolation and provide a sense of security and positivity.

The second benefit is that it provides an opportunity to gain new insights.

Parent meetings often offer lectures by counselors and opportunities to hear from parents who have experienced their children not attending school.

For example, one parent said, "I was worried about my middle school child not attending school, but at a parent-teacher meeting I heard a positive speech from someone who had experienced the problem, who said, 'My child, who is now a university student, also had a hard time not attending school when he was in middle school,' and 'This is how I overcame that difficult time,' and it really lightened my heart."

Of course, the information and experiences you get from parent groups can also be found on the Internet.

However, I think there are some people who think, "Even though I understand it intellectually, I can't accept it personally," or "I'm so overwhelmed by painful feelings that I can't think about the future."

Perhaps this is because we are exposed to information as one-sided recipients.

On the other hand, parent meetings are different from the Internet.

By interacting with people who have had similar experiences and talking about your own experiences, you can naturally gain insights that are relevant to you and information that "makes sense."

This is where the great value of attending a parent-teacher conference lies.

Things to note

On the other hand, there are some things you should be careful about.

Private, independently run parent groups are merely "gatherings of parents with similar experiences" and are not public "consultation agencies."

Therefore, if you only ask for the problem to be "solved" unilaterally, not only will you not get the results you want, but it could also lead to trouble with other participants.

It may be difficult to build a give-and-take relationship from the beginning, but at least at the beginning, it's best to not expect too much and participate with a "mutually beneficial" attitude.

Also, when participating in a parent-teacher meeting, the most important thing is that it is a place where you feel safe.
For example, before joining, you might want to contact them using an inquiry form to see if it suits your situation and if the atmosphere seems right for you.

However, there are some things you won't know until you actually participate.

If you join and feel that it's not for you for various reasons, it's important not to force yourself and to have the courage to leave the group.

If you feel uncomfortable after attending a group, it's best not to stick to that group and try visiting other groups.

This site allows you to search for private support such as parent groups, so please take a look.

【references】

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■ Measures for school absenteeism (COCOLO Plan, etc.)
https://www.mext.go.jp/a_menu/shotou/seitoshidou/1397802_00005.htm

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